


A desk chair, a hacker, and the pictures he was never meant to see

by cartunegirl56



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crossdressing, I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING I DID IN 2013, Kinda, M/M, THIS IS VERY OLD READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, Tentabulges, Wiggly fins, my first smut that I'm finally being brave enough to post here, redrom erisol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-12-03 04:37:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cartunegirl56/pseuds/cartunegirl56
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But wait, what's this? It's a folder, and it's dragged all the way over to the side of the screen so it's only partially visible. It's labeled only "March." Just bored enough to wonder what's inside, Sollux double clicks the folder.  His multicolored eyes widen substantially. Hooooollly shit. Before him is a grainy webcam photo of Eridan, and that's not even the most horrifying part.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A desk chair, a hacker, and the pictures he was never meant to see

Space. The final frontier. No, this is not a Star trek fanfic. Which you should already know. Let me guess, you just came here for the gay sex right? WELL HOLD YOUR FUCKING HORSES. We'll get to that. Anyway, we're out here in space because of a small object floating through that space. This object is a meteor. And on that meteor, is a laboratory. In that laboratory are twelve little trolls. No, not that little, sicko. In this story they are at least eight sweeps old. (Or around 18 earth years, for you humans.) This is like an AU where everyone is old enough for porn.  
Anyway, back to our story. The twelve trolls are sitting in a circle, each staring intently at their computer screens. Well, all but four. One of these four is a tall troll with ridiculously messy hair. He's fast asleep in an absurd pile of bicycle horns. At least he seems to be asleep. I swear I just heard a quiet honking noise. Didn't you hear it? Huh. Anyway, this troll, despite being the most important character in Homestuck, isn't even important to our story. Moving on.  
Two more of these four are nowhere to be found. Karkat and Terezi must have snuck off somewhere… alone… secretive… suspicious… Nah, they're just talking a walk. The fourth of these trolls is Sollux Captor. You can tell he's important to the story because I used his full name. Sollux is sitting at a computer, but he is most certainly not staring intently. He's fidgeting and distracted and occasionally mumbling to himself because he is bored as hell. He wonders what on Alternia he should even do. Maybe he should mess around with everyone else's computers for a bit. He'd recently discovered a way to hack in to any computer on the meteor. Don't ask me how; only he knows. But anyway, he decides to go in to the other computers and maybe change the desktops to something stupid because that would be hilarious. Who to mess with first? Maybe KK? No, he's not even at his computer. The obvious next choice would be that pompous asshole Eridan Ampora. He's always great to screw with. Completely missing the possible double meaning in his last thought, Sollux gets to work.  
Eridan's computer is a piece of cake to get in to. His password is Feferi. Predictable idiot. Sollux looks around Eridan's desktop. Besides outdated software and some pictures of himself, Feferi, and Vriska, there isn't really much of interest here. But wait, what's this? It's a folder, and it's dragged all the way over to the side of the screen so it's only partially visible. It's labeled only "March." Just bored enough to wonder what's inside, Sollux double clicks the folder.  
His multicolored eyes widen substantially. Hooooollly shit. Before him is a grainy webcam photo of Eridan, and that's not even the most horrifying part. The sea-dweller is wearing a tiny black crop top and a ridiculously short pleated skirt. To top it all off, he appears to be wearing makeup. His hair is pulled in to short pigtails, each fastened with a ribbon. He sits in a provocative pose, tongue running over his lips and hand suggestively pulling on a pair of striped thigh-high socks. Sollux stares in shock for a moment as his mind processes exactly what he's seeing. And then it clicks. Holy shit he has to exit out of this photo. There's no way he can let anyone catching him looking at it! He hurriedly closes the window. Heart pounding slightly, Sollux takes a deep breath. That was really fucking weird. You know, ED would probably be really embarrassed if he ever knew someone saw that picture. Actually, that would be really great blackmail material… And there were some other pictures in that folder too. He could have Eridan wrapped around his finger! A smile spreads across his face. He would have to take it somewhere where no one can see so he can sort through this stuff and plot his blackmail scheme.  
Sollux shuts off his computer and quietly heads to the transportalizer. No one even looks up. Walking through a few more hallways and on to a few more transportilizers, he finally arrives in his part of the lab. He has his own desk and a second computer in here of course, because computers are great and anyway, two is always better than one. He sits in the swiveling desk chair and immediately gets to work. Getting in to Eridan's computer is even easier than it was the last time. And just like last time, there's that folder.  
Wow, this is really low of him to get in to stuff this personal. His hands don't seem to notice his brief moment of hesitation, however, as he finds himself clicking on the folder.  
The first photo pops up once again. Sollux swallows hard. The sea-dweller does look kind of attractive, in a really weird way. He was about to move to the next picture, when the sound of a door opening behind him makes him jump. "Hey Sollux, Terezi foun…" Karkat stops short mid sentence. The yellowblood had been fumbling with the mouse, obviously trying to hide whatever he was doing. He swivels around to look at his friend.  
"Oh, uh, hey KK. 'Sup?"  
"What the fuck were you doing?" Karkat wonders, raising an eyebrow.  
"Nothing, just screwing around. What the fuck are you doing in my room?"  
Karkat eyes Sollux suspiciously for a moment. "Terezi found this thing in a secret room. I want you to check it out and see what it is."  
"Why?"  
"Because I'm in charge, and I said so."  
Sollux gives a dramatic sigh, and Karkat tosses a small mechanical box in to his lap.  
"And try to think about doing it sometime soon, so Terezi will freaking shut up about it." And with that, Karkat turns and leaves the room. Sollux takes a breath that he didn't realize he was holding. That could have been really awkward. Thank god KK didn't see anything.  
Sollux doesn't know how wrong he was.

Karkat hurriedly strides back towards the main lab, trying to process what he'd just seen. Arriving in the big room. He sits down at his computer and opens up Trollian.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

CG: WHY THE HELL IS SOLLUX LOOKING AT PICTURES OF YOU IN A SKIRT?  
CA: wwait wwhat  
CG: DON'T WWHAT ME. HOW DID HE GET A PICTURE OF YOU IN FUCKING DRAG? HE'S IN HIS ROOM PRACTICALLY DROOLING OVER IT.  
CA: …  
CA: nobody is supposed to see those  
CG: SO YOU DIDN'T GIVE THEM TO HIM?  
CA: no!  
CA: wwhy the hell wwould i send those to him of all people  
CA: i didnt knoww anybody evven kneww about that  
CG: I'M GOING TO AVOID THE OBVIOUS QUESTION ABOUT WHY THOSE PICTURES EVEN EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE.  
CG: ANYWAY, I JUST THOUGHT I SHOULD LET YOU KNOW, MAN.  
CG: NOW I'M GOING TO DISCONNECT AND PRETEND THAT THIS CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED AND THAT I'M NOT EMOTIONALLY AND PERMANENTLY TRAUMATIZED BUT WHAT I SAW TODAY.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

Meanwhile, Sollux is debating weather he wants to take the risk again. There were other photos in the folder, but what if someone finds out? He'd gotten ridiculously lucky the last time. Sollux blinks at the computer screen. I guess looking at one more photo wouldn't hurt… He clicks to the next picture. The pose is even more provocative, and this time Sollux can clearly see the outline of Eridan's hard bulge underneath the skirt. Getting even more uncomfortable, his hand, seeming to move on its own, clicks to the next photo. Eridan's skirt is now lifted up, his hand lazily stroking the long, purple tentacle. Sollux feels his face grow hot. He looks down and realizes that his other hand had been unconsciously migrating to his own bulge which, to his horror, has pitched a small tent in his jeans. His hand shakes as he tries to will the feeling away. What the hell? There's no way he's actually getting turned on by this. He glances at the picture again. God he wants to jack off so badly right now. His will to resist quickly slipping away from him, his hand moves toward his fly…  
"Hey Sol!"  
Sollux jumps, lets out an exceptionally manly shriek, and tries to grab the mouse and exit out of the picture. He only succeeds in losing his balance. The desk chair topples over backwards and the back of his head smacks against the tile floor. Dazed and startled, Sollux blinks, staring at the ceiling. Eridan slowly walks up to Sollux and stares down at him. Suddenly remembering his little problem, Sollux quickly pulls his legs up against his stomach.  
They stare at each other in an awkward silence. Eridan glances up at the computer screen, then back down at Sollux again. His cheeks are blushed slightly purple. Finally, he breaks the silence.  
"W-where did you get that, Sol?"  
"Uh… I hacked in to your computer. You really need get a better password seriously-"  
"Oh shut up," Eridan says, looking just as uncomfortable as Sollux feels. "What the hell do you even think you're doin'? That's really fuckin' personal and I don't appreciate you pokin' your filthy nose in to stuff that is absolutely none of your business!" He kneels down so his face is inches above Sollux's. "You're not gonna be tellin' anyone else about those, you hear me?"  
Sollux opens his mouth to deliver a sassy reply, but Eridan cuts him off again.  
"And anyw-way why are you even still sittin' like that? Get up, you look fuckin' stupid."  
Sollux's cheeks turn yellow. His mind races to come up with a way to get out of this fucked up situation, but draws a blank, and lays there staring up at Eridan like an idiot. Eridan silently glares back at him, when suddenly his face softens, as if in a sudden realization. His mouth turns up, in a confident smirk.  
"You know… Why were you so awfully interested in those anyway?"  
"Uh. I-I was pla-"  
As if determined not to let Sollux finish a sentence tonight, he leans down to where his lips nearly touch the land-dweller's. Sollux stammers and finally stops attempting to talk completely. Eridan slowly crawls forward and places his hands on Sollux's knees. Sollux struggles, but Eridan is stronger than him and pushes Sollux's knees away from his stomach, revealing the bump still visible in his pants. Before Eridan can do anything else, Sollux blinks and gives the other troll a sharp zap with his psionics. Eridan yelps and moves back towards Sollux's face. In a split second, Sollux's hands are pinned above his head and Eridan's mouth is on his.  
It's a bit strange kissing someone upside down, but Eridan doesn't seem to have a problem with it. He bites down sharply on Sollux's upper lip. Sollux gasps involuntarily, and Eridan takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Sollux heavily debates sending the other troll flying across the room.  
…Eh, maybe he can put up with this a little longer.  
No sooner had this thought run through his head, however, then Eridan pulled away, panting slightly. "Sorry, that- that got kind of outta control. Fuck. Uh, how about we call it a tie and agree to never speak of anythin' that happened today ever again; How's that sound?"  
Sollux, tired of lying awkwardly on the floor, sits up slowly. "Well, I didn't actually mind it that much, moron, but whatever you want," he says in a slightly mocking tone.  
Eridan stares at Sollux, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably.  
"You know, all of this is your fault," Sollux begins. "Maybe you should take responsibility and do something about it."  
He leans closer to the sea-dweller, feeling his warm breath on his face. Sollux tilts his head to the right slightly, and slowly presses their lips together. Eridan shivers. Sollux suddenly reaches up and grabs firmly on Eridan's jagged horns, yanking him sharply forward. Eridan whines but kisses back as Sollux roughly rubs his horns. Their glasses clack together awkwardly, and Sollux tosses his haphazardly over to the side. The smaller troll is practically attacking him now, and Eridan can't help but feel a bit proud of how much he must have sexually frustrated him. Sollux crawls in to his lap and Eridan runs his hands over the yellowbloood's ass then, after pausing for a moment, up under his shirt.  
"OMFG ED your hands are freezing," Sollux breathes.  
Rolling his eyes at the fact that Sollux literally said OMFG out loud, Eridan lifts the shirt up farther and Sollux allows it to be pulled over his head. Sollux leans forward planting quick kisses on Eridan's face as he fumbles with the fasteners on Eridan's cape. He finally decides to just kind of rip it off.  
"W-watch it. That's expensive!" Eridan complains.  
"No, it's stupid," Sollux corrects him and tugs on Eridan's shirt.  
"Wow, eager much," Eridan teases, but pulls his shirt over his head. His glasses, which had been sitting askew on his nose, finally clack to the floor.  
"W-we shouldn't even be doin' this."  
Sollux shifts his hips, putting the slightest bit of pressure on Eridan's bulge, and noting with a smirk that a bit of genetic material is starting to soak through his striped pants.  
"So, you want to stop then?"  
Eridan bites his lip in an attempt to suppress a moan.  
"Mm… No."  
"I thought so," Sollux whispers, leaning close to Eridan's ear. He then proceeds to bite down, a little too hard, on the purple fin. Eridan makes that adorable whining noise again and Sollux gently kisses the fin in apology. Eridan's fins twitch. Sollux gasps.  
"OMG!"  
"W-what?" Eridan asks tentatively.  
"They moved!"  
"Yeah, they do that."  
"That's… so cute!" Sollux squeaks, looking like he'd seen a tiny puppy.  
"Wha- Really?" Eridan asked, blushing.  
Sollux nods.  
"Make them move again, ED."  
"No. I don't… Ah…" Sollux cuts him off by raising his hands and stroking down the sides of Eridan's long fins. Eridan closes his eyes and wiggles them again.  
Sollux smiles like he's just accomplished everything he ever wanted in life.  
"You're a fuckin' weirdo, Sol." Sollux can hear the tiniest bit of a chuckle in Eridan's voice. Still smiling toothily, he hooks his arm behind Eridan's neck and kisses him again.  
"Ow! God, quit biting," Eridan protests.  
"Ehehe no," Sollux says, tugging on Eridan's lower lip barely gently enough to not break the skin. Sloppy makeouts continue and for some reason Eridan continues to be a really good kisser. Not to be outdone, Sollux runs his hands down Eridan's sides, hoping that his gills are as sensitive as his fins.  
They are.  
Eridan shivers as Sollux slowly strokes his gills. Sollux presses the tip of his finger in to the purplish slit, enjoying listening to Eridan's jagged breathing. He grinds his hips against Eridan's again, and Eridan feels like he's going to melt in to a pile of mush if this continues. You know, Sollux has been in control here long enough. Eridan decides he should do something about that. He moves away from the yellowblood's face in favor of his neck. Simultaneously, he reaches down and palms Sollux's bulge trough the fabric of his jeans. Sollux swears breathlessly and pauses his stroking of the sea-dweller's gills, as Eridan kisses and sucks on his neck. Taking it a step further, Eridan goes for the zipper on Sollux's pants and manages to undo it. His mouth slowly migrates to Sollux's collarbone and down to his chest, occasionally biting to give the other troll a taste of his own medicine. Sollux leans back involuntarily, leaning against the side of the still-sideways desk chair.  
"Holy shit ED."  
Eridan smiles as he reaches the small trail of hair between Sollux's prominent hipbones. There he pauses, and looks up at the other troll. Sollux's face is flushed yellow, and he's squirming uncomfortably. Their eyes meet.  
"Well? …Don't just stop!" Sollux complains, his eyebrows creasing together. That was all the consent Eridan needed. He slowly pulls down Sollux's red and blue boxers, revealing his wet, yellow bulge. Eridan runs his tongue up the underside of Sollux's bulge then leans forward and takes it as far in to his mouth as he can. Sollux gasps and threads his hands in to Eridan's black and purple hair. Eridan bobs up and down, focusing on breathing through his nose and trying to make Sollux make as many little noises as possible. The yellowblood bucks his hips, forcing his bulge further down Eridan's throat. Eridan takes it in stride, somewhat proud of himself for not choking. He reaches down and frees his own bulge which had been straining painfully against his pants and gives it a few pumps with his hand. Sollux tugs harder on Eridan's hair, and Eridan makes a mental note to get more hair gel later.  
"Ah… Fuck. ED?"  
Eridan hums quizzically in reply, nearly sending Sollux over the edge, but then suddenly pulls back. A thin trail of yellow mixed with purple hangs briefly on his lower lip. Sollux stammers for a moment as if trying to say something but is unable to form a coherent sentence. Eridan crawls back up Sollux's torso to his face, capturing his lips once again. Sollux kicks his pants the rest of the way off and wraps his arms around Eridan's neck. Their bulges touch and wrap themselves around each other, dripping wet and desperate for friction. Eridan holds them together and strokes up and down. Sollux's bulge leaves Eridan's in favor of wrapping around his hand. Eridan pauses again, as if needing some sort of reassurance.  
"Uh, Sol…"  
"Yeah?"  
"I w-was… Should we… Um…" Eridan hesitates, and even he probably has no idea what he's trying to say.  
"So guess what," Sollux cuts in.  
"W-what?" Eridan asks, glad to be saved from having to try to finish his sentence.  
"All of this is your fault." Sollux lowers his voice.  
"What are you gonna do about it, prince?" The side of his mouth turns up in a smile, but we don't get much of a chance to see it because Eridan is on him instantly. His bulge sits, teasing the entrance to Sollux's nook.  
"Let's go, finface."  
With that, Eridan pushes in to the other troll's entrance. Sollux hums in approval.  
"You okay?" Eridan asks, still a little tentative.  
"For fuck's sake, move!"  
And so he does. Sollux returns to his favored position of tugging on Eridan's horns and hair and hooks his ankles behind the other troll's back as Eridan thrusts in and out of his nook. He starts slow but obviously gets the feel for it as he moves faster and faster. Moans and pants filled the air. (Actually Eridan's pants have fallen around his ankles and Sollux's are long forgotten on the floor and yes I worded it that way just so I could say that.) Sollux closes his eyes and arches his back in pleasure, and Eridan never takes his eyes away from him. His cheeks are flushed yellow, his skin shining with sweat, and his chest rapidly moving with his quickened breathing. And Eridan is completely smitten with him.  
He leans forward and kisses Sollux's chin, feeling him rubbing and pulling at the base of Eridan's horns. The feeling of being this close to someone was strange but wonderful, and Eridan tried to imprint every bit of this moment in his mind. Every sound. Every touch. Every wonderful sensation. Incase it never happens again, as a nagging voice in the back of his head reminds him. No. Forget that for right now. Sollux kisses his fin, and Eridan hasn't felt this un-alone since the start of this fucked-up game.  
Eridan feels Sollux tense up beneath him, and knows neither of them will last much longer.  
"Mm… E-Eridan!" Sollux gasps, spilling warm genetic material over both of their stomachs. Eridan follows shortly after, letting out a wordless whine and burying his head in Sollux's chest. Sollux's hair pulling slowly turns to stroking as they both come down from their climax. Tired, Eridan lays down on Sollux's chest and wraps his arms around his torso. They lay like that for a while without a word, listening to each other's breathing. Finally, Eridan breaks the silence.  
"Hey Sol?"  
"Yeah?" answers Sollux, twirling a tuft of purple hair around his index finger.  
"I'm glad you found those pictures."  
Sollux laughs.  
"Me too."  
"So, w-what now?"  
"IDK, maybe a trip to the ablution trap? I'm kind of a mess."  
"No, I mean…" Eridan takes a deep breath.  
"I'm thinkin' I kinda might be flushed for you. I mean seein' as this situation kinda got outta control it leaves me wonderin' w-weather this was just a one-time thing or not. Not that I'm expectin' anything of you but I-"  
"Holy cow. Shut the hell up!" Sollux says, laughing again. Eridan turns purple.  
"Yeah, I thought that was kind of w-weird of me to say but you know you should try bein-"  
Sollux rests his head on Eridan's.  
"Flushed for you too, ED."

**Author's Note:**

> This has been up on fanfic .net for a while but for some reason AO3 is more intimidating to me. Thank you for reading my experimental first time smut. I hope it was ok?


End file.
